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Noah Goats
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The Unpublishables Kindle Edition

by Noah Goats (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 18 ratings
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Daniel seems to be the last person in America who isn’t writing a novel. He’s a self-contained man who has never felt any particular urge to create art of any type. But now everywhere he turns people ask him the same annoying question, "What's your novel about?" He doesn't have an answer. He just wants to be left alone so he can read in peace. Then he meets Abby and realizes that the only way to her heart is through fiction, and he knows he will have to attempt to write a novel, and it had better be a romantic one.
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  1. Print length
    235 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    May 5, 2019
  5. File size
    1810 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  9. See all details
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07RHQL6GM
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 5, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1810 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 235 pages
  • Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 1070682802
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 18 ratings

About the author

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Noah Goats

Noah Goats

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Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

I live in the foothills of the Wasatch Mountains with one wife, four children, one dog, one cat, and three fish.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
18 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

thinair
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly good!
Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2019
Verified Purchase
I found this book by searching "free books, humor", and "bought" it out of curiosity because its premise seemed to be such a loser. I couldn't imagine where even a great writer would take it. I certainly didn't expect to be reading past the first couple of pages. Sort of like buying a tin of chocolate covered grasshoppers...

Then I read the first page, and the second, finding them reasonably good. By the end of the first chapter, I liked and identified with the protagonist. Soon thereafter, I realized that this book was beyond good, and started searching for just the right superlative to describe it even as I read (and laughed - a lot.)

I haven't found it. "Clever", "witty", "wise", don't get it, though it is all that. "Original", too. I am just in awe at this writer's talent. The humor is of the type that builds upon itself, so that a theme that elicits a just a glint of humor at the beginning of the book provokes belly laughter by the end.

One caveat - I don't think the premise of the escape of a weaponized virus that makes people believe they're novelists is even necessary. It sort of ends up being superfluous, anyway, and the idea that everyone's writing a book falls well within the bounds of acceptable absurdity.

I highly recommend this book, especially to people who are well-read/love reading.
4 people found this helpful
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Zachary Shatzer
4.0 out of 5 stars A Satisfyingly Original Story
Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2024
Verified Purchase
The trait I find myself valuing more and more in fiction is originality, and it's rare that I come across a book that doesn't remind me of anything else I've ever read, but this one fits the bill.
It's an odd, sometimes meandering story, but one which manages to feel both personal and relatable. It's not perfect, it knows its not perfect, and asks to be taken for what it is, which is still something very much worthwhile. In fact, I don't believe I've read anything that so accurately portrays this idea. If you're looking for a unique, enjoyable read, you've found one.
One person found this helpful
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triskaidekaphilia
5.0 out of 5 stars The best novel about not writing a novel I’ve read
Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2019
Verified Purchase
Noah Goats wrote a very, very good novel. I enjoyed it tremendously.

Mr. Goats, a voracious reader, has written a book about not writing a book. It’s in parts funny, sad, outrageous and heartwarming, always with an undercurrent of self-aware honesty and basic kindness and decency. Think a Nicholas Baker/Kurt Vonnegut mashup.

For those of us who’ve written a novel, or want to write a novel, or want to have written a novel, THE UNPUBLISHABLES will hit home in many places.

I highly recommend reading THE UNPUBLISHABLES and I sincerely hope Mr. Goats has more like this left in him.
2 people found this helpful
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Stuart Allen
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious Setup and Mostly Funny Execution, Strong Finish
Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2021
Verified Purchase
The premise of this book is that everyone nowadays is writing a novel, so much so that being asked, “what’s your novel about”, is an opening line to create conversation. The protagonist, Daniel, hates it when garrulous idiots ask him about his book as he’s apparently the only person over sixteen years old that is not writing a novel. But then he meets Abby, is smitten, and when she asks him about his novel, he’s flustered and trying to impress her he answers, “It’s about the homeless. I’m doing research on it by living on the streets for a month.” Daniel’s research on homeless people becomes the plot of the book, culminating in his plan to write and present his book to Abby and thus win her heart.

The first several chapters are delightful as Mr. Goats exercises his considerable wit talking about reading novels, using reading as a defense in social situations, reading etiquette, and other aspects of reading and writing novels that will amuse enthusiastic readers. When Daniel takes to living on the streets of San Francisco the humor starts to dwindle. There are plenty of chuckles here--homeless people are writing novels too--just not as densely packed as the beginning of the book. Through the homeless characters Daniel encounters, the author is afforded the opportunity to write excerpts of bad books and it appears he relishes the task. I didn’t like every character Daniel met, but most of them were interesting.

If you ever wanted to know what it is like to be homeless, this book is a crash course. There are some things I didn’t want to know about, like needing a toilet in an emergency (and not finding it) or the many different ways to describe the smell of unwashed vagrants.

The ending is surprising, satisfying, and charming. I really liked this book and wanted to give it five stars, and I would have, if the humor could have been maintained at the same level as the first several chapters. I’m certain this is a near impossible achievement, but then again, so is getting a five-star review from me.
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Witty and Charming
Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2020
Verified Purchase
Very funny and engaging story.
One person found this helpful
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Jackson Crawford
5.0 out of 5 stars The Alienated Writer
Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2019
Goats has a deft skill for rendering the awkwardness of the everyday in a palate so rich you feel like you’re the one getting bothered by another customer in that Jiffy Lube, or contemplating the trade-offs of showering in a dismal hotel room. Deft and funny like his earlier novels, the switch to an urban setting is a surprise, but Goats writes San Francisco as compellingly as he writes the Southwest.

This is a book about writers that in a sense isn’t very much about books. It looks at the publishing industry and the public it serves almost as off-screen villains, while a world of writers interact with one another in frustration and loneliness, sharing their preposterous stories from time to time. The plotlines to these hypothetical novels are funny in the way that they often “roast” the reading public’s preoccupations.

One of many failed writers laments, “I spent two years putting together a lottery ticket that cost me $33,000” in lost work hours. “Dreams are great because they don’t require anything from us,” the narrator says, but clearly the dream of being A Great Writer is one that often leads to disappointment in ourselves and others. This book is a witty and trenchant look at what that dream in its extreme form can alienate us more than any Great Book can bind us.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

bettymcbricker
5.0 out of 5 stars I liked it.
Reviewed in Canada on August 13, 2021
Verified Purchase
I liked it. I bought it on impulse while shopping for my son's birthday gift, just a little gift for myself, a thank you to me for planning a Nerf battle party for a bunch of boys. I liked the premise described on the book jacket blurb and I bought it in paperback format because I'm old school like that. It was a relaxing read, set at an easy pace and told in a funny, slightly self-deprecating style, sort of like having a good friend tell you a story when you ask them to "explain how this all happened" over drinks and nachos. There were a few typos still remaining in the printed text and normally I would be appalled but I will not make a fuss because somehow it makes me feel like I am reading a friend's manuscript and I liked it.
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