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Norah Vincent
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Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man Kindle Edition

by Norah Vincent (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 out of 5 stars 1,311 ratings
A journalist’s provocative and spellbinding account of her eighteen months spent disguised as a man.

Norah Vincent became an instant media sensation with the publication of Self-Made Man, her take on just how hard it is to be a man, even in a man’s world. Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me), Vincent spent a year and a half disguised as her male alter ego, Ned, exploring what men are like when women aren’t around. As Ned, she joined a bowling team, took a high-octane sales job, went on dates with women (and men), visited strip clubs, and even managed to infiltrate a monastery and a men’s therapy group. At once thought-provoking and pure fun to read, Self-Made Man is a sympathetic and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism.
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  1. ISBN-13
    978-1101201343
  2. Publisher
    Penguin Books
  3. Publication date
    January 19, 2006
  4. Language
    English
  5. File size
    664 KB
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Vincent, a tomboy from childhood, decided to see if the right makeup and skilled coaching could effect a sex transformation complete enough to get her accepted in her new guise as a man. For a year and a half, she went undercover to gather experiences such as joining a men's bowling league, getting a job in a testosterone-fueled door-to-door sales company, and going on a retreat with a secretive male empowerment club. Vincent's writing is quite evocative as she describes the process of becoming "Ned," but its disappointing that her narration doesn't demonstrate the masculine voice she developed. Her reading is mostly monotonous, only occasionally adding inflections that hint at the self-loathing she often felt as she deceived everyone she encountered. This abridgment omits two chapters, but the remaining ones still give an excellent sense of the project and the insights she gained. At the outset, Vincent notes that her experiment is not a sociological treatise but just a single woman's view of a guy's world. But her sharp powers of observation and crisp writing, which shine through even when her reading sounds bored, ensure that listeners finish feeling that they have learned a great deal along with her about the slippery workings of gender in America. Simultaneous release with the Viking hardcover. (Reviews, Nov. 14). (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

*Starred Review* Vincent's first experiment in cross-dressing came on a dare from an acquaintance who was a drag king. When she experienced the intoxicating invisibility and safety that came from wearing the disguise, she wanted to learn more. For 18 months, she disguised herself as a man, renamed herself Ned, joined a men's bowling league, visited strip bars, and dated women. Along the way, she found that the freedom and privileges enjoyed by men were counterbalanced by a constant testing and severe limits on emotions. She also found women to be distrustful, ever ready to criticize men for being emotionally distant yet clearly preferring men who met stereotypical images of strength and virility. Vincent is frank about her experiences--the hard business of sexual transactions devoid of emotions, the easy bonding between men, fear of sexual attraction among men, and, ultimately, the explosion of her own notions of sex roles. She also explores the guilt she feels about her deception. Writing from the perspective of a gay woman who had a view of the male world that women don't get to see, Vincent finds unexpected complexities in the men she meets and in herself as well. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000OT8GTE
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books (January 19, 2006)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 19, 2006
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 664 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 312 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,311 ratings

About the author

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Norah Vincent

Norah Vincent

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Norah Vincent was born in Detroit, Michigan on September 20, 1968. She began her career as a journalist writing columns for The Village Voice, Salon and the LA Times. She has published four books and is at work on a fifth. Her web page is at www.norahvincent.org.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,311 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book incredibly insightful, with one describing it as a fun read about a social science experiment. Moreover, the writing style receives positive feedback for being well-written, and customers appreciate the author's empathetic view of men and their intense personal narrative. Additionally, the book features a wicked sense of humor and provides a fascinating look at the working class. However, the story receives mixed reactions, with some finding it captivating while others find it boring, and opinions on its unbiasedness are divided.

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96 customers mention "Reading quality"93 positive3 negative

Customers find the book engaging and insightful, with individual perspectives and discoveries, and one customer describes it as a fun read about a social science experiment.

"...Thank you so much, Ms. Vincent for your incredible strength and wisdom. Not many people could do what you did with such style and insight...." Read more

"This is a fascinating book...." Read more

"This book has all of the earmarks of an excellent study of male-female relationships, written with a philosophical tone...." Read more

"I really enjoyed Reading this book, Norah Vincent has an intellectual and sarcastic (I venture to say prickly sense of humor) and it is refreshing...." Read more

58 customers mention "Readability"51 positive7 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, noting it's good enough to spend a few hours reading and better than expected, with one customer describing it as a real page turner.

"This book is absolutely magnificent. From the minute I picked it up, I could not put it down...." Read more

"...This book perfectly identifies the roots of male frustration and, ultimately, misogyny...." Read more

"...Things as a man I know intimately being discovered. It is a great work and I icu only wish some of neds earlier experiences were viewed through..." Read more

"great read" Read more

38 customers mention "Writing style"38 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, describing it as well-written and talented, with one customer noting its philosophical tone.

"...But I digress. This beautifully written book has opened my eyes even further to the problem of gender labeling and roles...." Read more

"This is a fascinating book. The author is brilliant and her ability to "get it" is uncanny, not to mention there's plenty of hilarious wit thrown..." Read more

"...be commended for completing the project and for being able to communicate in such detail the different levels of mental anguish she experienced...." Read more

"...Norah is also a master wordsmith, she uses words so eloquently as to bring her experience to life with dignity and most high quality...." Read more

37 customers mention "Empathy"31 positive6 negative

Customers appreciate the book's empathetic approach, describing it as an intensely personal and compassionate exploration of gender dynamics, with one customer noting how it provides a greater understanding of men's experiences.

"...Her observations and empathy are not just remarkable, but so is her gift for analogy. The salesman/sex metaphor is one I'll never forget...." Read more

"...I credit Norah with successfully infiltrating the fraternity of men...." Read more

"...What impressed me about Vincent was her deep capacity for empathy, a trait that was reflected in the incisiveness with which she pulled apart her..." Read more

"...that it gives an almost unbiased and yet tinted approach to innate and socially acquired traits of Men...." Read more

14 customers mention "Insight"14 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and eye-opening, with one customer noting how it carefully lays out its stages and provides a fascinating look at the working class.

"...As for the rest, it still provided me with a fascinating look at the working class and disadvantaged, as someone with a privileged background...." Read more

"...It was well planned and researched, and I can't imagine anyone doing a better job under identical circumstances...." Read more

"...The style is of a novel, so it is easy and fun to read...." Read more

"A strange book, and certainly unique. It is very well written, and I've never ready anything like it. But it's boring for the last third at least...." Read more

11 customers mention "Humor"8 positive3 negative

Customers enjoy the book's wicked sense of humor.

"...ability to "get it" is uncanny, not to mention there's plenty of hilarious wit thrown in..." Read more

"...enjoyed Reading this book, Norah Vincent has an intellectual and sarcastic (I venture to say prickly sense of humor) and it is refreshing...." Read more

"...she does a well as she can I have to take away some points for her snide remarks that seem to creep up every few pages?..." Read more

"It is almost as comical reading realizations as watching an old black and white slap stick comedy...." Read more

31 customers mention "Enthralling story"20 positive11 negative

Customers have mixed reactions to the book's story, with some finding it captivating and entertaining, while others describe it as boring.

"...It was a magical and thrilling ride. One I am happy to have been invited to take...." Read more

"...They don't HAVE to fake it. Still, her experiences are interesting and she writes entertainingly about them...." Read more

"...It's very tiring and draining to interact with these types of women...." Read more

"...Also, she devotes an entire chapter to the monastery. While an interesting experience, it has little to do with the subject of the book...." Read more

7 customers mention "Unbiasedness"4 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's unbiasedness, with some finding it fair-minded while others find it anecdotal at best.

"This book and style is written in a way that it gives an almost unbiased and yet tinted approach to innate and socially acquired traits of Men...." Read more

"...at play and how we define roles in society...however, the book is anecdotal at best...." Read more

"...Her assessment is refreshingly frank and honest. It is a real shame she is no longer with us (RIP) but hopefully people can learn from her book." Read more

"...journey.... she's not entirely likeable and the duplicity inherent in the premise is contestable....but the perspective it generates is fascinating..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Little Whovian
    5.0 out of 5 stars If you only read one book this year, make it this one. Best book I've read in a long time! What a ride!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    This book is absolutely magnificent. From the minute I picked it up, I could not put it down. I kept thinking to myself how great this book would be as a supplement to a gender studies course (interestingly, this book was recommended to me by amazon because of a text I purchased for a gender studies course). I want to share this book with all my friends - women and men - because I feel like there is so much to be learned here. What Ms. Vincent did is something like all writers should strive for. She became her character. And she did it with amazing success and enlightenment. Through her eyes, we can see the roles placed on us by society from the minute we are born and labeled - "girl" or "boy." Someone once asked if it was possible to raise a child without labeling them and letting them grow up and choose their own gender. My answer was no because it is not just mom and dad who impose gender roles on children. It is other family members, friends, and even strangers. In order to block all of that gender defining from entering our young child's conscious, we would have to lock everyone out. People, by default, assumed I wanted everything pink and frilly when I announced the birth of my daughter. And when I wrote "no pink" on the birth registry (and my daughter's name - Elliot - was written on the registry), the woman at the store said "aww you're having a boy?!" No, a girl. And I don't like pink. But I still got tons of pink. Then your child starts a daycare or preschool and learns from other children that certain toys are for girls or boys. My daughter wanted pirates for her birthday party theme and I was thrilled. Then the other kids told her pirates are for boys and it seemed to be true because all the boys that year seemed to be doing pirate themes. We discussed it and I convinced her to stick with what she wanted and not change it just because of what others say or think so she did a pirate theme after all and she was so pleased with it. Another time, she asked me why I painted my room blue and why is blue my favourite colour when clearly blue is a boys colour and pink is for girls. This started a serious discussion, which nearly left me in tears. My five year old suddenly wanted pink frilly dresses and dolls. And I thought I was doing everything right. But after all, I realize that she will be who she wants to be no matter what. Today, at age 7,she likes all sorts of different things and I let her choose whatever she likes whether it's ponies and dolls or building blocks and pirates. It's' okay for her to have all sorts of toys no matter what society says about what's for boys or girls. Just like an in internet meme I recently saw, a good test to see if a toy is for girls or boys is to ask this question: Is this toy in any way used with or activated by the genitals? If Yes, this not a toy for children. If no, the toy is for boys and girls! Wow! An easy solution. And I agree completely with it. There are no toys meant just for boys or girls. This is ridiculous. One day, we saw a gay couple on tv getting married and she said "mommy look, two boys getting married. That's silly." I immediately turned the tv off and we had a serious discussion about love and how gender does not have anything to do with it. At the end, she agreed it wasn't "silly" at all. But I digress. This beautifully written book has opened my eyes even further to the problem of gender labeling and roles. This is a problem not often spoken about and we need to speak out more. We need more people like Norah Vincent who have the courage and, dare I say it, the balls, to go out in the trenches and gather intel. By doing what she did, she learned not only about the difficulties of being a man but also more about the whys of certain gender-specific behavior.

    I have always wondered and dreamed about being able to spend a day as a man. To see what it felt like. To experience life from the point of view of a man. The successes and the disappointments. The respect and the disrespect. Men and women seem so different but I think that underneath we are all just humans. (Edit: I do believe every person is different and that gender does play a role in this. No two people are the same!) Whatever gender related identities we might embody, it is in no small way a result of rules placed on us by society, imposed on us from birth (and even before birth), and embedded in us throughout our lifetime. Thanks to Norah Vincent, I had a chance to spend a day looking through the eyes of a man with the perspective of a woman. It was a magical and thrilling ride. One I am happy to have been invited to take. I recommend this book highly to any and every person who has the slightest bit of interst in the topic of gender roles and I think everyone should because not one of us is left untouched by this social construct. Like I said above, if you only read one book this year, make it this one. If I could give more than 5 stars, I would. Thank you so much, Ms. Vincent for your incredible strength and wisdom. Not many people could do what you did with such style and insight. You are an incredible woman - nay - an incredible human being. You're the type of person I would love to meet on a blind date. ;) <3
    45 people found this helpful
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  • Dennis E. Markham
    5.0 out of 5 stars Can a woman ever know exactly what it's like to be a man? Maybe.
    Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    This is a fascinating book. The author is brilliant and her ability to "get it" is uncanny, not to mention there's plenty of hilarious wit thrown in (though some of it starts to feel a bit mean-spirited and condescending near the end).

    This book perfectly identifies the roots of male frustration and, ultimately, misogyny. But if you're worried this will just be a "men good, women bad" book, I recommend you start with chapter 5, which shows how valuable women can be in male company. There are moments I felt proud of my sex, but also moments I felt disgusted and started to understand the roots of misandry, too.

    Most of this won't teach you about the average man, because it focuses on the fringes of male society. The ruggedest, the most oversexed, the the most pious. However, I find chapter 4, about dating, to be very relatable to the any adult male, and probably the most important chapter in the book. I've always wished women could understand the mental anguish of being "on the offensive" so to speak, and she gets it perfectly. As for the rest, it still provided me with a fascinating look at the working class and disadvantaged, as someone with a privileged background.

    Her only insight that I found off, and maybe its just me, is that men in pain "need their space." Honestly, this is true when it comes to being around other dudes. There's something in us, and its innate, that squirms on the inside when we get too mushy amongst other men. Again, I think this innate, because I don't feel like this how the world should be, just how it is. But I find a woman's compassion and tenderness to be very soothing, and why I like to keep female friends.

    Her observations and empathy are not just remarkable, but so is her gift for analogy. The salesman/sex metaphor is one I'll never forget.

    If you are a woman, you'll learn a lot about us from someone who's almost completely (but not always) spot on. If you're a guy, you're sure to learn something fascinating about a subculture you've never been part of. I think how much monks are just like typical dudes was most surprising to me. A chaste guy is still a guy. As such, I would recommend this book to anyone (unless you're a working class monk who struggled with overpowering sexual urges and frequented sex clubs, in which case you might not learn anything new).
    14 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Cliente de Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars Si te interesa empatizar con el otro género o cualquiera de sus siglas, lee esto
    Reviewed in Mexico on July 15, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Excelente para comprender porque las diferencias entre las relaciones de hombres y mujeres se dan de la forma que cada cultura lo permite
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  • Thomas
    5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read.
    Reviewed in Canada on July 9, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I’m at chapter 2 so far. This book is great so far. it really provides great insight into the differences in the authors experience between how men and women behave among each other.
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  • Gabriele Caimi
    4.0 out of 5 stars Libro interessante
    Reviewed in Italy on November 1, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Libro interessante,
    le situazioni raccontate mi sono sembrate lontane dalla nostra realtà, la riflessione dell’autrice non è preconcetta quindi una visione equilibrata ed interessata a capire.
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  • Sven Utcke
    5.0 out of 5 stars A very different look on what it means to be male
    Reviewed in Germany on February 9, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Totally recommend this book to anyone who has ever used the phrase "male privilege" or believes that it would be easy to be a man.

    The author disguises herself as a man to prove how easy men have it - only to find out both how difficult and downright depressing life as a man is, but also how big the camaraderie between men can be who hardly know each other (and, men being men, never will).
    Report
  • Hansen Cheung
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 14, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Decent read and makes me understand life better as a man
    Report

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