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Accidentally on Purpose: A One-Night Stand, My Unplanned Parenthood, and Loving the Best Mistake I Ever Made Kindle Edition

by Mary F. Pols (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.8 3.8 out of 5 stars 88 ratings
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A memoir of unexpected motherhood: “Mesmerizing . . . I laughed and cried and shook my head at some of her choices, but I rooted for her and her son the whole way.” —Minneapolis Star Tribune

At thirty-nine, movie critic Mary Pols knew she wanted to have a baby. But never—not in a million years—on her own. To take on the physical, emotional, and financial challenges of motherhood without a perfect soul mate/husband would be absurd, kind of like not bothering to use a condom during a one-night stand with an adorable but jobless guy ten years her junior.

Pols spends the ensuing weeks despairing over everything from the financial nightmare of single motherhood to the end of her hope for a traditional life. Not the least of her worries is how to drop the bombshell on loved ones, including her five siblings and an eighty-four-year-old father with a German temper and an Irish Catholic attitude toward out-of-wedlock babies. Yet faced with the frightening, lonely truth that this might be her only chance at motherhood, she plunges ahead with the pregnancy and an Odd Couple version of a co-parenting relationship that looks like one more disaster in a long line of romantic disappointments.

But even as she tries to give her son’s young father a radical makeover, she realizes that his devotion and love for their child matters more than his spotty résumé or inability to remember to put oil in the car. With wit and candor, Pols reveals what it means to compromise in the name of love and to find joy in an accidental life, suddenly brimming with purpose.

“[Pols writes] with humor and grace . . . It’s rare to find such honesty.” —Entertainment Weekly

“Funny, intimate, wise, and real.” —Elle

“A page-turner by someone who stopped waiting for Mr. Perfect.” —Kirkus Reviews
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  1. Print length
    306 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publisher
    HarperCollins e-books
  5. Publication date
    October 13, 2009
  6. File size
    1222 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
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  9. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

First-time author Pols fashions an earnest, endearing memoir about how she hit her late 30s without a mate, but still managed to beat her biological clock. Finding herself pregnant at 39 after picking up a cute 29-year-old named Matt at a Bay Area bar, the author, the youngest of a large Catholic family from Maine, resolved to make a go at single motherhood. A successful film critic, if not exactly rich, she nonetheless figured out (with the help of her devoted circle of friends and family) a plan to live and raise the baby, including residing for a spell in a friend's trailer while pregnant. She barely knows her baby daddy, whom she portrays as sweet, if mostly directionless and unemployed. Her book good-naturedly traces some of the early hurdles of her experience, such as telling the Grinch (her father), finding out the sex of the baby and trying to sneak into a film screening with her infant. Candid and unaffected, Pols provides an important lesson about not being willing to compromise herself, and that being brave can bring the richest rewards. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Sharp, witty and slightly self-deprecating, she alternates clever, camera-ready one-liners with intense self-revelations about parents, children, love and family….”

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B001A16X7W
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperCollins e-books; Reprint edition (October 13, 2009)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 13, 2009
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1222 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 306 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.8 3.8 out of 5 stars 88 ratings

About the author

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Mary F. Pols

Mary F. Pols

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Mary Pols is the author of "Accidentally on Purpose" (June 2008, Ecco/Harper Collins. In hardback, it had one of those long subtitles that give away a lot and we've streamlined it for the paperback release to "The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother." A native of Maine, Pols has spent most of her professional life as a journalist in California. From 2000 to 2008 she was the film critic for the Contra Costa Times in the Bay Area, and before that, a staff writer for the Los Angeles Times, Seattle Times and the Los Angeles Daily News. Pols lives in Northern California and is working on her next book, a novel. She's also a freelance journalist and critic. Her movie reviews can be found at Time.com and MSN Movies.

Customer reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
3.8 out of 5
88 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

CG2008
5.0 out of 5 stars Unexpectedly good read
Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2011
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This book was not what I expected it to be. Initially I thought it would be a somewhat shallow read, but it was so well written and full of emotion and humor. I enjoyed her writing style; humorous and 'real'. I was so touched by her description of her relationships with her parents. I really liked reading this book and always looked forward to picking it back up. When it ended, I wanted more. I would definitely describe this book as a memoir, though I think the cover and book description do not allude to it being such.
2 people found this helpful
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Helen Torres
4.0 out of 5 stars Good, enjoyable book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2014
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I downloaded "Accidentally on Purpose" one lazy Sunday, and I read the entire book in one sitting. I enjoyed hearing how Mary Pols faced the dilemna of unexpected pregnacy with a cute stranger she met in a bar. She isn't a Polyanna by any means, but I admired how she worked to include the father in the baby's life, even if he wasn't a life-partner match for her.
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JanRDmom
3.0 out of 5 stars I enjoyed reading this book
Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2015
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For some reason, I enjoyed reading this book. In the first part, it was difficult to like the author, with her immature views of planned single parenthood. It was difficult to like her in the middle part, because although she made a "mistake" in not using birth control in what most likely would be a one night stand, she blamed the much younger father for not being plugged in and living out her "wants". New dad finally plugs in, and author is happy for a short period of time. Then new dad disappoints her, and she takes him to task again. It all seems to work out in the end, although the child is still fairly young when the book is written. Author seems to learn a lesson and ties it all up into a pretty package, even though she does not marry or live with dad anymore. I have to wonder how it all turns out for the child in his teen/ early adulthood years. I guess he will need to write his own memoirs and let us know!
2 people found this helpful
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Mary E. Parsons
5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed, I cried and I loved this book
Reviewed in the United States on August 12, 2008
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This is one of the few times that I have read a book based on a family I know. I grew up around the corner from the Pols and was friends/contemporaries of the older group of the six children. I do not know Mary but I certainly understand the family dynamic.
I read this book in one day-I lauughed and I cried. I was angry with her for her lack of understandingin some situations and I was proud of her for her understanding in other ways.
This is a painfully real, honest memoir that tells a sometimes hard story but Mary reveals so much of her soul it is hard to not be entranced and engaged. How brave to be so brutally honest about one's shortcomings and fears.
She paints a sometimes unattractive picture of the baby's father but I do understand that she was writing about her feelings-she would not tell you that she was always fair or politically correct-it just is what it is. Her son may read the book and think she was hard on his father but I doubt that. I think that he will see the truth of his mother's struggle in bringing him into the world and how both his parents fought to make him safe and happy. It was hard and very real-I'm glad she told the story.
One person found this helpful
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S. E. Clark
4.0 out of 5 stars I like a story where the theme is
Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2015
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Heartfelt. I laughed, I cried. I rooted for the author, and sometimes wondered what was wrong with Matt. I like a story where the theme is, "life didn't turn out the way you planned, so you make the life you want to have."
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Jan R. Whitehouse
2.0 out of 5 stars Control freak
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2014
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This woman is way to much into herself. I got frustrated with her impatience, criticism, and negativity. It does give a glimpse into the challenges of single working moms who are not married but there are a lot of other woman out there who are also single working unmarried moms who look at life with a much more positive attitude.
One person found this helpful
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Kellye C.
5.0 out of 5 stars This book was terrific!
Reviewed in the United States on October 12, 2010
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I couldn't put this book down from page one. I think my husband was actually a little bit jealous of this book, lol. I really feell in love with the people as the author wrote her story out for all to hear...and it was really her story.

I cried, laughed, and sometimes even got mad with the author. I haven't had any other emotional reactions to books like this. I guess it just touched me.

I have recommended this book to several friends and I can't wait to see what they think as well. It is a must read.
One person found this helpful
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Bea Kramer
1.0 out of 5 stars Sobbing, Sobbing,Sobbing
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2014
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The heroine in this story does little but cry all the time, wallowing in self pity. Don't let
the title fool you---there is nothing happy about the main character, she will sob at the
drop of a hat. I kept hoping she'd grow up.
A waste of time.
Bea Kramer
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

goodallrounder
4.0 out of 5 stars Not bad
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 11, 2015
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I thought it would be like the TV show but it wasn't as funny. Still a OK read though
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Mr. R. A. Burton
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 13, 2016
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Good
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