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Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval--and Seeing Yourself through God’s Eyes Kindle Edition

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 241 ratings

We all want someone to think we’re sensational. We desire to be recognized, to be valued, to be respected. To be loved. Yet this natural yearning too often turns into an idol of one of God’s most precious gifts: love itself. If you, like so many of us, spend your time and energy trying to earn someone’s approval—at work, home, and church—all the while fearing that, at any moment, the facade will drop and everyone will see your hidden mess . . . then love may have become an idol in your life. In this poignant and hope-filled book, Jennifer Dukes Lee shares her own lifelong journey of learning to rely on the unconditional love of God. She gently invites us to make peace with our imperfections and to stop working overtime for a love that is already ours. Love Idol will help us dismantle what’s separating us from true connection with God and rediscover the astonishing joy of a life full of freedom in Christ.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

That endless, exhausting crusade for approval? Ends here. A brilliant writer, Jennifer Dukes Lee takes you to the foot of the Cross―and takes one stunning hammer to the foot of the Love Idol. Read this book―and walk free. Ann Voskamp, Author of the NYT best-seller One Thousand Gifts

From the Back Cover

“Hi, I’m Jennifer. I know we’ve just met, but already . . . I want you to like me.”
YOU’VE FELT IT
―that deep longing for people to value you, respect you . . . and love you. You’ve worked hard for their approval. You’ve wanted to make people think you’ve got it all together, but on the inside, you’re falling apart. And you’ve heard this one question ringing in your ears: What will people think of me?

Jennifer Dukes Lee knows exactly how you feel. She understands how exhausting life can be when you’re chained to your approval rating. Jennifer has spent plenty of time and energy trying to earn others’ approval―at work, home, and church―all while wondering what would happen if the facade dropped and everyone saw her hidden mess. She’s made the same mistakes many of us make as we try to sprint for significance―and wear ourselves out pursuing human love and acceptance above all else.

And now Jennifer leads you on a journey to rediscover the joy found in the
unconditional love of God. Through her own life journey, she gently invites you to make peace with yourself and to stop working overtime for an approval that is already yours in Christ. Love Idol will help you dismantle what’s separating you from true connection with God and rediscover the astonishing freedom of a life lived in authentic love.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00E1O7F5E
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Tyndale Momentum (March 21, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 21, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 14332 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 265 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 241 ratings

About the author

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Jennifer Dukes Lee
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I write books. I embarrass my kids. I was once a mime. (True story). I attend a small country church where some Sundays you’ll find me spinning tunes as the church deejay.

I'm a big fan of dark chocolate, emojis, eighties music, bright lipstick, and Netflix binges. My husband and I are raising crops, pigs, a herd of cats, and two beautiful humans on the Lee family farm in Iowa.

I'm the author of Growing Slow, which includes a companion Bible study.

 

My other books: It's All Under Control, The Happiness Dare, and Love Idol.

I’m a journalist at heart. I used to cover crime, politics, and natural disasters as a news reporter for metropolitan daily newspapers. Now, I use my reporting skills to chase after the biggest story ever: the redemptive story of Christ. (That’s front-page news.)

I cling to the hope of a cross, and I’m passionate about sharing the Good News through story. I believe in miracles; I am one. I marvel at God’s unrelenting grace for stumbling sinners like me, who have been made whole through Christ. I believe in scandalous grace, and that the cross is the most priceless and costly gift the world has ever seen. I believe that it really is all because of Jesus.

Connect with me online at my website (www.JenniferDukesLee.com) or on any of these social media platforms:

Facebook.com/JenniferDukesLee

Twitter.com/dukeslee

Instagram.com/jenniferdukeslee

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2014
Sometimes a book comes along that lines up perfectly with what God has been whispering to your soul. In fact, you almost wonder if the author spied on your innermost thoughts, took notes, and then transcribed them to the page. But she didn’t. What she did do was allow God to search her own heart and reveal the idols holding her captive. She believed His promise of something better, took the keys He offered to unlock her cage, and walked free.

She could have stopped there, reveling in sweet deliverance. She could have pretended those idols never existed, because who wants to admit sin and selfishness? But she knew there were lots of other people locked in the same cage, and God had showed her the way out. So she swallowed her pride, gathered her courage, and stepped bravely into the light.

That’s how Love Idol was born.

If you struggle with a constant need for approval, then please read Jennifer Lee’s wonderful, honest, liberating book. Read it, and believe what God has declared about you. Because the truth is, we really are pre-approved by God. We’re adopted, cherished, known, and loved — His works of art created for His pleasure and glory.

But that’s not all. We’re also called to serve and build each other up in love, and as long as we’re spending all our time and energy trying to build ourselves up by feeding an insatiable desire for other people’s approval, we’ll never be free to love others well.
This is the thing God has been laying on my heart over the past few months. And now Jennifer’s new book has landed on it all like a big, fat exclamation mark.

We live in two kingdoms. We’re in this world, but not of it. We’re citizens of earth, but we’re called to live here as citizens of God’s upside-down kingdom, and the two operate on opposing principles and laws. We may know what God’s Word says about us — that we’re created in His image, covered by the shadow of His wing, held in the palm of His hand, fearfully and wonderfully made, and chosen in Him before the foundation of the world — but thanks to mass media, we’re constantly bombarded with the world’s ideas about what our life should look like.

God always looks at the heart. If we’re motivated by culturally dictated lifestyle goals, we’ll be much too busy trying to achieve them to pursue the kingdom of God. We need to recognize that our culture is selling us lies. Even though many of the world’s values and trinkets are not necessarily sinful, none of them will bring peace, satisfaction, or purpose.

The pursuit of personal success is a birthright in the western world. But compassion is the law of the upside-down kingdom, and when it’s real, it’s knocks the teeth out of selfish ambition. Collaboration is the law of the upside-down kingdom, and when the body functions as a body, the work of the kingdom is accomplished. On the other hand, when we’re all competing for the spotlight, nothing of eternal value gets done.

And then there’s comparison.

Comparison either says God short-changed me or God short-changed you, and neither of those is the truth. God created women in all shapes and sizes with all sorts of personalities and talents, and in every single case, He knit them in their mothers’ wombs and knows their thoughts and numbers their days. In every case, He looks not at the external things but at the heart.

Comparison by its nature takes our eyes off of Jesus and puts them on each other, not for the purpose of loving and serving, or learning and imitating, but for the purpose of elevating or demeaning. As long as we’re measuring others and striving to measure up ourselves, we’ll never love well. But when we ask God to open our eyes to the beauty of diversity, and we choose to look for His creativity in others instead of comparing ourselves to them, we’ll be free to embrace our own gifts and purposes and to celebrate His glorious design for others. And what’s more, when we learn to see as He sees, we’ll start looking beyond the externals to the heart, and we’ll realize that, in the things that matter most, we’re more alike than we ever imagined.

The more we die to ourselves, the more we live to God, and the more we live to God, the more joy, peace, satisfaction, and true contentment we find. Yes, it’s upside-down. And it’s glorious. God pre-approves sinners. He adopts rebels. He redeems us while we’re His enemies and renames us His friends. And He gives us the beautiful gift of genuine friendship with each other — a gift we miss all too often because we can’t get our eyes off the mirror.

So, what if we really believed the truth? That we’re loved? That we matter? That no one else can fill the shoes He created just for us to fill?

What if we smashed our idols, and walked out of our prisons, and made it our one aim to love Christ and each other well?

We’d turn the world upside-down. And I can’t think of a single thing the world needs more than that.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2014
On her blog earlier this year, Jennifer Dukes Lee challenged us at the beginning of Lent to yield wholly to Christ. This challenge made me think through the love idols God has been revealing to me. And as I’ve thought and prayed about them through this season, I felt pretty good. Letting go of some things. Making some progress on some others.

Then my pre-ordered book arrived. And God used it to make me dig a little deeper. Jennifer’s story of reaching dreamed-of career highs and having God pursue her out of them is a story of God’s redemption. She shares with us her own inner struggle for approval that battled with resting in the loving arms of her Savior. It’s a battle we all share.

Jennifer writes, "Because the moment we stop fussing over the opinions of others might be the moment we start actually living for God. Only then can we fearlessly love our neighbors, lead a Bible study, talk into a microphone, pray out loud, stand up for our beliefs, fight for the underdog, speak truth in love, write a book, or take audacious risks for the Kingdom." Love Idol, p. 73

For me, the rejection I experienced last year has caused me to sit on a goal that God laid on my heart when I first lost my job a year and a half ago. It was a crushing blow but in the middle of it, God called me to write. Not just some more blog posts. No, He called me to write a book.

So I’ve been writing. And writing. And writing some more. The book is almost finished (well, the rough draft anyway. There’s certain to be many edits before it’s publish-able!). But frankly, I’ve been kind of ignoring the manuscript files on my computer. Because when it’s finished, then I have to look at publishing it and guess what? That could mean some more rejection. As Jennifer shares in her story (p. 79), I’m also afraid of more rejection. Publishers. Editors. People who might read it and hate it.

There used to be a time when I was more afraid of being disobedient to God than I was of any potential consequences of my obedience. When did it get turned around? When did the fear of rejection get bigger than the fear of disobeying Father? And how can I get it back again? These are the questions I’ve been pondering as I’ve read.

Yet right there in the middle of Jennifer’s book is the answer. It’s that in Christ, we’ve all been preapproved.

Regardless of my writing ability, God loves me anyway.

It doesn’t matter how I look or what I wear, God loves me anyway.

My worth is not found in being the poster child for mothering or in being a good Bible study girl.

It’s found in the love of our Creator and in the life Jesus willingly gave up for us on the cross.

I pray that sinks in for all of us as we read this book. The truth that we are indeed Preapproved.
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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Reviewed in Australia on July 26, 2018
Learning to let go of what the world thinks of us and taking hold of the gospel, we are beloved
MarniGal
5.0 out of 5 stars and Jennifer Dukes Lee does a beautiful job of pointing the way to Him
Reviewed in Canada on June 26, 2014
This book is overflowing in God's grace - He loves us more than we can comprehend, and Jennifer Dukes Lee does a beautiful job of pointing the way to Him.
Joy Lenton
5.0 out of 5 stars Are you ready to live pre-approved?
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 14, 2014
Sometimes you grasp a book in your hands and sense it was written just for you ~ heart to heart.

You'll find yourself wanting to add numerous memory jogging highlights and underlining to what feels more like a private journal than anything else.

C.S Lewis said, "Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another:"What! You too? I thought that no one but myself.." Right from the start the author feels like a good friend, so frequent are the 'You too?' moments within it. 

Jennifer Dukes Lee's warm, engaging prose, intimate sharing, open vulnerability and heartfelt message also invite trust and reassuring confidence.

Here is a woman who is still a 'work in progress' and willing to admit it. She eagerly desires for others to join her in seeking to identify and demolish their own love idols.

So what is a 'love idol' Primarily, whatever rules our hearts is at risk of "becoming our lord" when "instead of resting in the love and approval of an unseen God, we chase after the temporary pleasures of human validation" 

People-approval issues are so widespread that it begs the question:How on earth do we overcome them? Insightful, God-inspired suggestions (based on her own tried and tested application) are heavily strewn throughout this book.

We are encouraged to see ourselves as already pre-approved. Together, as co-pilgrims, we can learn how to surrender "our need for human approval in exchange for a godly approval that is already bought and paid for."

Whether you are in the first flush of youth or the hot flush of mid-life, male or female, this book is relevant for all. These issues can plague our lives and cause enormous stress and strain until we have awareness and insight into their devastating consequences and find the means to address them.

We don't have to live lives plagued and tormented, held captive to the fluctuating opinions of others or wearied and discouraged by our low self-esteem.

There is hope at hand.

There is grace to help.

There is freedom to be gained.

We can discover our true identity in Christ.

"Every small death of an idol is another tiny resurrection of our identity in Christ" ~ Jennifer Dukes Lee 'Love Idol'

Are you ready?
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Helen
5.0 out of 5 stars So in tune with my head.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 7, 2014
Pre approved author but 5 stars from me. It seems like it us NOT just me that thinks this way.
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