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Camilla Monk
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Spotless Kindle Edition

by Camilla Monk (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 2,071 ratings
Editors' pick Best Romance
See all formats and editions

Island Chaptal - nerdy IT engineer by day, romance novel junkie by night - just walked into her messy New York apartment to find Mr. Right waiting for her. No, wait...Mr. Clean.

A gentleman professional killer with a bad case of OCD and zero tolerance for unsorted laundry, March isn't there to kill her...yet. He wants the diamond her late mother stole for a sinister criminal organization. Island agrees to help him find it, facing the kind of adversaries who dismember first and ask questions later. Good thing she's got March to show her the ropes. And the guns. And the knives. The buttoned-up Island is soon having a blast racing from Paris to Tokyo following the clues in her mother's will, and for the first time, she's ready to get close to someone. But falling for a hitman may be the very definition of loving dangerously.
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Previous page
  1. Book 1 of 5
    Spotless
  2. Print length
    334 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  5. Publication date
    May 19, 2016
  6. File size
    4737 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
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  1. 1
    Spotless
    Kindle Edition
    Editors' pick
    $0.99
  2. 2
    Beating Ruby (Spotless Book 2)
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  6. Spotless    5 book series
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"The hilarious chapter headers--which I enjoyed as much as therest of the book--set the tone of the book as one of over-the-top camp and aloving spoof of and homage to romantic suspense novels." --Dear Author

"Spotless isa brilliantly written story with a difference. It crosses a few genres andbrings something completely new to the table. It's laugh-out-loud funny; it'ssweet and strangely romantic but in quite a unique way." --Totally Booked

"The characters were beautifully done; they are fully developed;they make you laugh with them and appreciate their wit and charm. A truly 5star novel that deserves tons of attention." --Readers'Favorite

"If you're in the mood for a jocular bit off center suspense with a dash of romance involving shady world organizations, the shady men and women who work for them, a broody caring OCD hitman, and a plucky heroine lost in the mix and falling love, then you must give this book a try." --Whiskey in The Jar Likes to Read

"This book had so many parts to it that I couldn't pinpoint exactly which part was my favourite. The beginning was hilarious, the middle was creepy bordering on psycho chicken, Hannibal grossness and the ending was action packed, guns blazing fast." --Stacey is Sassy

This book blew me out of the water! There are so many things I can say about it but I don't even know where to begin. I downloaded it on a whim and ended up staying up the entire night because I couldn't put it down. The closest thing I can think of to compare it to is the movie Red with Bruce Willis. Monk is a very gifted writer who puts her own spin on a hitman romance."--Rainy Thursdays

About the Author

Camilla Monk is a French native who grew up in aFranco-American family. After finishing her studies, she taught English andFrench in Tokyo before returning to France to work in advertising. Today, she'sa managing partner in a small ad agency, where her job is to handle all thingsweb-related and make silly drawings on the white board when no one is looking.Her writing credits include the English resumes and cover letters of a greatmany French friends, and some essays as well. She's also the criticallyacclaimed author of a few passive aggressive notes pasted in her building'selevator.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B01FR7D4M6
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ (May 19, 2016)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 19, 2016
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 4737 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 334 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 2,071 ratings

About the author

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Camilla Monk

Camilla Monk

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Camilla Monk is a Canadian author who rose to dubious fame with a romantic suspense series starring an OCD-ridden hitman and a wide array of strange and occasionally angry animals. These days she shares her writing time between high-octane adventures in the same vein and fantasy, her secret love (but with weird animals, too.)

She grew up in Paris in a Franco-American family, has lived in Tokyo, and spent ten years in advertising, building rickety websites for M&A boutiques and hedge funds. All of that somehow landed her in Montréal, where she keeps a close watch on the squirrels and complains on a daily basis about the egregious number of Tim Hortons.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
2,071 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Carnage80
5.0 out of 5 stars really good!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book was a random recommendation in a FB group that I decided to try and I LOVED it!!! So funny and well-written! I loved the characters, the story, and I can’t wait to dive into the next one!
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SpeedRacer
4.0 out of 5 stars A great read!
Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2018
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A very interesting read about an OCD cleaning neat freak assassin and a computer engineer. Island had no idea, that her life was going to be way over the top for the best few days, Lol. This is my first read by this author and I was pleasantly engaged and kept on the tip of my toes throughout. Filled with danger, murders, guns, chemistry, suspense, and a wonderful set of characters, I could barely put this book down. The only thing that put me off a bit was the obvious chemistry between March and Island and though there were close moments, they still hadn't had their moment even at the end. *sigh* C'est la vie. Oh! The brief little excerpts from so called fictional books at the beginning of every chapter is laugh out loud hilarious!!!!!!
Here's an example of one of the many...
SPOILER AHEAD!!!

“Malcolm flashed her a seductive smile, revealing a row of teeth so white that she felt engulfed by their light, as if she had been hit by a supernova.” —Livia Torrente, The Billionaire’s Beautiful Waitress (Lol)

A great read. 4 stars!!!!!
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Ellen
5.0 out of 5 stars 4.5 Quirky Stars!!! Loved March and Island!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2019
Verified Purchase
4.5 Stars!!

Fantastic and refreshing and SO creative! The narrator Amy McFadden was fabulous. I have a new obsession and her name is Camilla Monk.

“Here’s one secret no one will tell you about getting laid after a date. DON’T TALK. Most girls blame either their looks or excessive timidity for their virginity. This is only true to an extent. These girls are also horribly annoying.”
—Aurelia Nichols & Jillie Bean, 101 Tips to Lose Your Virginity after 25”

Yes, the author begins each chapter with a parody of a romance novel because our adorable heroine Island is a romance junkie. I literally laughed out loud at the beginning of each chapter! What a creative twist! Now on to the plot.

March is a suave, handsome professional who breaks into Island's apartment searching for a rare diamond that her mother stole many years ago. Oh, and March has OCD. I was hooked! March literally organizes Island's messy apartment while holding her prisoner, much to her obvious dismay. And confusion.

"My knees buckled when I opened my underwear drawer–neatly folded and sorted by fricking color. March. I made damn sure I messed my stuff back into complete chaos while I fished for a bra and a pair of panties. This was a question of honor."

I read and listen to a lot of books and 'Spotless' is an absolute delight. I already started listening to 'Beating Ruby' which is saying a LOT seeing as a I have a fairly short attention span for book series.

'Spotless' is one of those rare books that is smart, funny, sarcastic AND romantic. Yes, it is a story of a hitman and a virgin (the author's own words!) but it is also a fast-paced romantic suspense story with nuanced characters, exotic locales and very flawed main characters.

“I’m sorry for being a little tense, Island. I suppose I’m not used to having guests in the front seat. My clients usually ride in the trunk, you know.”

March is exceedingly well-mannered and it is isn't long before Island falls in love with this quirky professional hitman with his own code of honor. The story literally takes place all over the globe following clues left behind of Island's mother. March obviously has a tender side but he is a dangerous man and doesn't allow Island to grow too close to him. And she is still trying to figure out how to lose her V-card.

“I had sometimes met guys who looked like they worked out a lot; however, overly conservative social boundaries had restrained me from tearing their shirts open in public to check the goods.”

I feel like I have stumbled onto a treasure chest with the Spotless series. Why is Camilla Monk not a household word?? AND WHY HASN'T THIS SERIES BEEN MADE INTO A MOVIE YET? Or at least a mini-series. The characters are all unique, quirky and self-deprecating. While the reader is required to suspend disbelief in some parts, overall this is an addictive story with a top-notch narrator. Who, by the way, must speak several different languages throughout the book.

I highly recommend this fun book for both the unique cast of characters and yes, even for the chapter headings. Each one is a gem. I am looking forward to bingeing on this entire series!
4 people found this helpful
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3341
3.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable story but the writing was distracting
Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2017
Verified Purchase
I began reading and soon realized that the writer must not be American as some of the colloquial dialog seemed stilted and stiff. I looked up the author and found that she is in fact a french native which then helped me understand the writing a bit better, but it still felt distracting when phrasing like "it felt very strange to realize that having a name to put on this mans face"... no one talks like that here. The writing often times didn't flow or translate well. In one instance it was writen "when you've reached majority" which I had to pause and realize that they meant maturity. We don't use majority here in America in that context. Overall, I enjoyed the story, but the writing did distract me throughout the whole book. I'm not sure if I will continue on with the series.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Regina D
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun, fast-paced read with a cliffhanger ending
Reviewed in Germany on December 29, 2016
Verified Purchase
This story was a lot of fun!

Overall, I liked the cast of characters. Island tended to get a tad annoying at times, while March paled a bit in comparison. To be fair, his character isn't one given to grand gestures and theatrics, so that is quite fitting, even if I would have liked it otherwise sometimes.
Dries felt a bit inconsistent to me, I'm not sure I understand why he acted the way he did.

I really loved the little things, like the scene with the robo-mop (:wub:) or rating the quality of private jets by their paint jobs.

While some story-arcs got resolved in this first installment to keep me happy (I HATE complete cliffhangers), there are enough loose ends to keep me wondering how the story will unfold in the second book.
One person found this helpful
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Roberta Pearce
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly conceived and executed - a must read for all romance lovers!
Reviewed in Canada on May 12, 2015
Verified Purchase
Easy five stars. A must-read for all lovers of romance.

Sketchy plot synopsis: Island Chaptal comes home to find March, an OCD hit man, cleaning her apartment as he waits for her, and is abruptly swept up in a globe-trotting adventure. Pure entertainment from awesomely complicated characters. Seeing March through Island’s eyes, we fall in love with him as she does. And Island is so sweet and smart – a rich combination of savvy and innocence – that we can’t help but love her, too.

This novel is brilliantly conceived and executed through some of the best and cleverest writing I’ve ever read. Now, those of us who love romance know that some of the stuff we read is filled with the cringe-worthy, the squicky, the contrived, the angsty. We know some of it – or at least parts of some of it – are so badly written that it reads as if penned by a five-year-old. But we love that, don’t we? And if we didn’t, romance novels wouldn’t radically outsell every other genre.

And the thing, IMO, that makes Spotless a must-read is that Ms. Monk embraces cringe-worthy squick as each chapter begins with an excerpt from one of Island’s many romance novels. Titles such as Scorching Passion of the Billionaire Werewolf and Hit On by a Hit Man, and a variety of advice from a little gem of self-help called 101 Tips to Lose Your Virginity after 25. Each mock-excerpt foreshadows or reflects in some way events in the chapter, so they are not haphazard, but dazzlingly brilliant. And hilarious.

Favourite fictitious book title/author [I almost wet myself laughing]: Last Tango in Louisville by Dany Butters. [Butters. *Butters!* Bah-hahahaha!]
Favourite fictitious line: “Baby, God stole all the stars in the sky and stuffed them in your eyes.” [The “stuffed” makes it.]

Ms. Monk is having fun. And she lavishes that fun all over her reader, making for a fantastic read that mocks and honours the genre as only a lover can.
One person found this helpful
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teavil
5.0 out of 5 stars The love child of Lee Child and Georgette Heyer with a soupçon of computer geek thrown in
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 24, 2016
Verified Purchase
A superb cross between the very best man trash and very lively romance. As a discerning aficionado of both this book was an absolute joy for me to read and I am sooooo glad I bought it. A socially awkward computer geek and a killer with a penchant for order hunt an enormous great diamond via Paris and Japan, for a criminal organisation called the Board. An unlikely plot to contain a love story - but I could not put this book down. The characters are superbly drawn and so believable - even with the one's virginity at 25 and the other's debilitating OCD. But aside from how much I love the characters, the pace of the action and the joy of it all really made this book really stand out. And the chapter quotes are ingenious. I can't believe how rubbish some of the books I've read recently are in comparison to this - it should be on the shelves in every airport bookshop as I can't imagine a better book to while away a flight with ... honestly ... you'd be disappointed to have already arrived at your destination because it'd mean you'd have to stop reading. My sister got this for free on some deal or other and I paid about £5 for a paperback because she raved about it - but I'd happily have paid double as I haven't ever read anything quite like this and it was a fantastic read - way better than any chick lit dross or unpleasantly violent holiday read. Buy it immediately, whatever the price.
3 people found this helpful
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Atahana
5.0 out of 5 stars Déjanté
Reviewed in France on May 31, 2015
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Livre étonnant à plusieurs titres: d'abord grâce à un rythme effréné, ensuite parce qu'il ne correspond pas à un genre précis. Ce n'est pas une romance même s'il y a bien une héroïne et un héros. Ce n'est pas qu'un livre à suspens. C'est bourré de scènes d'action. L'humour est très présent. Un cocktail jubilatoire, une écriture enlevée, bref je l'ai lu d'une traite et j'ai été déçue quand je me suis aperçue qu'il venait juste de paraître et que j'allais devoir attendre pour lire le tome 2.

Island (prénom improbable, probablement un clin d'œil) est une jeune femme, geek et un peu à côté de la plaque, assez immature, qui tombe nez à nez avec un tueur a gages qui cherche un objet volé par la défunte mère de l'héroïne.
La voilà contrainte de fouiller dans le passé et de plonger dans le milieu des clans et des gangsters pour tenter d'avoir la vie sauve.

March, le héros dont on ne connaîtra jamais le vrai nom, à quelques troubles compulsifs de propreté et de rangement. Il est bizarre et le restera. Autour d'eux, des personnages flamboyants, notamment de beaux personnages féminins.
L'action se déroule sur trois continents: l'auteur étant franco-américaine, sa description de notre pays et les dialogues sonnent justes et elle a aussi passé du temps à Tokyo.

Chaque chapitre s'ouvre sur quelques phrases issues d'un roman à l'eau de rose, genre dont Island est friande, et c'est franchement hilarant : tous les clichés y passent, et le pire c'est que j'ai dû lire des navets avec des dialogues aussi improbables. Le nom des prétendus auteurs est tout aussi amusant.
Enfin, pas de scènes hot un peu forcées mais juste ce qu'il faut d'intrigue amoureuse.
J'espère que le livre paraîtra en français prochainement pour faire connaître ce jeune talent. Et j'attends le tome 2 avec impatience. Même la couverture est réussie.
2 people found this helpful
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Axik66
4.0 out of 5 stars More 3.2 stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 5, 2020
Verified Purchase
I went in with a very positive attitude but I kinda tend to get irritated when a female gets pants-feelings for the guy who has threatened, physically abused and kidnapped her within couple of days. There were some funny moments and writing was quite solid but I could not warm up to either of the protagonists, one being an idiotically precious snowflake and another an emotionally constipated brute with A Tragic Past.
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