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Robert Kroese
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Mercury Begins Kindle Edition

by Robert Kroese (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.0 4.0 out of 5 stars 295 ratings
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Mercury is an angel. Just not a very good one.



Never read any of the Mercury books? Start here! Already read one or more of the books? Also OK! There's no wrong way to read this story, unless you're using a spatula and a bowl full of goose feathers.

After I wrote my first novel, Mercury Falls, a lot of people said to me, “This Mercury is an intriguing character, but you should really write a story explaining his origins.”

That’s a lie. Nobody ever said that to me. Also, this story doesn’t really explain anything. On the other hand, it has oiled-up Greeks and a giant wooden horse, so there’s that.

Do you like to laugh? Do you like spaghetti? Who doesn’t like spaghetti? What is wrong with you? Where was I going with this?

Oh! Do you like to laugh? Do you like to read things that cause you to laugh? Then you should read Mercury Begins!
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  1. Print length
    30 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    August 22, 2012
  5. File size
    586 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00918ALA6
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ ; 1st edition (August 22, 2012)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ August 22, 2012
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 586 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 30 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 4.0 out of 5 stars 295 ratings

About the author

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Robert Kroese

Robert Kroese

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Robert Kroese's sense of irony was honed growing up in Grand Rapids, Michigan - home of the Amway Corporation and the Gerald R. Ford Museum, and the first city in the United States to fluoridate its water supply. In second grade, he wrote his first novel, the saga of Captain Bill and his spaceship Thee Eagle. This turned out to be the high point of his academic career. After barely graduating from Calvin College in 1992 with a philosophy degree, he was fired from a variety of jobs before moving to California, where he stumbled into software development. As this job required neither punctuality nor a sense of direction, he excelled at it. In 2009, he called upon his extensive knowledge of useless information and love of explosions to write his first novel, Mercury Falls. Since then, he has written 34 more novels.

Customer reviews

4 out of 5 stars
4 out of 5
295 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

K. Sozaeva
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't miss if if you're interested in the series; also a great way to be introduced to the series
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2013
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Book Info: Genre: Urban Fantasy/Humorous
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Fans of humorous stories, those who are interested in the series.
Trigger Warnings: Historical inaccuracies, sacking of Troy

My Thoughts: I read the first full novel in this series, Mercury Falls, several years ago (2010) (review linked here where formatting allowed). I have since accumulated the rest of the series from Amazon Vine, and picked up the two prequels, so I'm going to go ahead and read the rest of the series and review it, starting here.

The most important thing you need to know about the Mercury books is that they are hilarious. Take this quote:
"It was the first time Mercury had tried beer and, having been informed it was an acquired taste, he did his best to acquire it over the course of twenty-four bottles. He remembered thinking he was making real progress around number eighteen, but everything after that was a blur."

His conversation with the seagull was priceless, too. And then there is this footnote: "Contrary to popular belief, Microsoft did not invent PowerPoint in the 1990s. It was devised by Lucifer, along with drawing and quartering and several other forms of torture, in the third millennium B.C."

At any rate, I enjoyed this story, which introduces us to Mercury, gives us some background on his job and how and why he does what he does, and generally sets us off. The author recommends if you haven't read any of the series to start here, but I started with the first novel, so you can go that route as well. Recommended if you like to laugh.

Series Information: Mercury Begins is the first of two prequels to the Mercury series.
Prequel Two: Mercury Swings, to be read/reviewed next
Book 1: Mercury Falls, read in September 2010, review linked here where formatting allowed
Book 2: Mercury Rises, to be read soon
Book 3: Mercury Rests, to be read soon.

Disclosure: I bought this novella for myself. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis: Travel to ancient Troy with the irrepressible angel Mercury as he masterminds the most unnecessarily complicated sneak attack in history! Never read any of the Mercury books? Start here! Already read one or more of the books? Also OK! There's no wrong way to read this story, unless you're using a spatula and a bowl full of goose feathers.
2 people found this helpful
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Steven Arcos
4.0 out of 5 stars Humor vs Content
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2013
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In this short story, Kroese portrays his epic angelic hero Mercury in his first heavenly task. As part of a task force charged with ensuring the inevitability of the martyrdom of Jesus Christ, Mercury must aid in the Greek victory over Troy. Historically this tale is shrouded in myth. Kroese adds to this myth by introducing Mercury, who is eventually portrayed as the mythic deity popular in Greek mythology. Through a cacophony of witty one-liners,a litany of sarcastic banter, and some assistance from Venus, Daedalus, and a horse, Mercury secures the Greek victory.

Mercury Begins is ripe with satirical humor. Kroese takes the banality of the Trojan Horse story to a place that is more comedy than history. It makes an otherwise over-done history lesson into a laugh-out-loud comedic episode in the ongoing story of Mercury. It is obvious that his antics will become the archetype for his success.
One person found this helpful
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Average Joe
3.0 out of 5 stars Meh...
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2013
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I was stranded one day in the car with a friend with nothing to do for six hours. I looked on Amazon and found this book to help pass the time. While it did advance time, it did not make it a "joy-filled ride" (well, we couldn't actually ride being stranded and all). The concept of the story wasn't all that bad, but the delivery just left something to be desired. It seemed like it really wanted to be funny, but it just fell a little short of truly entertaining. While it was better than not reading at all, I will have to pass on reading the other titles in this series despite being a fan of mythology.
3 people found this helpful
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S. Marsh
5.0 out of 5 stars First time reviewer, long time reader
Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2012
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I stumbled upon the first book in the Mercury Trilogy thanks to Amazon's recommended lists. It was like Amazon could read my mind. Sarcasm, check. Dry humor, check. Sophmoric jokes, check. I am now a lifetime member of the Kroese fan club. Don't worry it's an easy club to join just send a check or money order to Mr. Kroese in the sum of $1,000 dollars and you are in like Flynn. But seriously, for the paltry sum of $.99 you can try this short story out and maybe you will enjoy it and proceed to read the rest of the trilogy. If you don't enjoy it then I guess you can leave a scathing review and still get your $.99 worth. (DISCLAIMER, there is no fan club. Do not send Mr. Kroese a check for $1,000 dollars. If you didn't understand this to be a joke, look elsewhere. I'm sure there is a new "Twinight" or "500 Shades of Puce" you would enjoy reading)
9 people found this helpful
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Philip A. McClimon
4.0 out of 5 stars Rome was not built in a day, it took a Greek sack...
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2012
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I read this twice. The first time I just plowed through in one sitting and thought it was just okay. I really liked the concept and knew there was a whole series of Mercury books that all sounded interesting so I read it again only slower and then I thought it was genius. It is funny but if you pay attention and don't just blaze through it you will catch subtle miscommunications between characters and nuanced dialogue that will be buried and almost hidden in the text that will be very humorous. There are characters in the background doing things while main characters are talking that will make you laugh. It draws its influence from Douglas Adams to be sure and is remaniscant of Terry Pratchett and Monty Python. It is satirecal and irreverent, clever and funny, and yes just a little bit insightful. I am looking forward to the whole series.
One person found this helpful
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Hal 'Chisaiyama' Shaver
5.0 out of 5 stars It only gets better from there
Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2015
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OMG, the author's style and wry wit make me instantly think of the late Douglas Adams and his HHGG series. The tongue in cheek humor never stops and this is just the prequel novella to the fabulous Mercury series. In this short work we are introduced to Mercury, a cherub and agent of the Apocalypse Bureau whose job is help ensure that the Divine Plan proceeds according to the Schedule of Plagues, Announcements and Miracles (that's right SPAM). In this outing it's Mercury's job to help ensure the founding of Rome by helping the Greeks sack Troy. Our story opens with our hero spread eagled on a rock in the Aegean sea having a conversation of sorts with a seagull. It only gets better from there. Read this one and you will be hooked, I assure you for the next 4 books in the Mercury series.
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Top reviews from other countries

D. L. Fernet-Bishop
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Reviewed in Canada on October 22, 2016
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Not worth the price. It should be incorporated into the first book.
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Mario G.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great and funny read
Reviewed in Germany on November 8, 2015
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This is a short story but I enjoyed it a lot, especially that kind of humor. Don't want to say more.
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Thyroidlady
5.0 out of 5 stars Good fun and an easy read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 14, 2014
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Robert Kroese is a thinking person's Christian. He writes with great humour and his view of good and evil is entertaining and well written. Mercury is a gentle character and very well written. I really really like all the books that I've read by Robert Kroese so far. It is really interesting how he links all his books together with recurring stories from different perspectives.
One person found this helpful
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YeahYeahNoh
4.0 out of 5 stars Short but amusing interlude for fans of the series
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 7, 2013
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If you've not read any of the Mercury books previously, this is not the place to start, though chronologically it is. Perverse I know, but then so is life sometimes, as you'll know if you've read the series!
So, if you've not already, I'd recommend you at least read book 1 of the trilogy first:  Mercury Falls (Book One of the Mercury Series)
This (very) short story fills in some of the background to the Mercury story in the trilogy, and as such, is probably better for being in on some of the jokes contained therein. I suspect it wouldn't be anything like as funny if you came to this first.
It is very short, so even at the low price currently listed, arguably not the best of value, but if you're a prime member you can borrow it free, and hey, it is only 77p (currently), less than half a pint. If you go to a cheaper pub than usual you could buy this and enjoy it with a pint at no added cost. That's not a bad idea.
So, in short, recommended if you enjoyed the trilogy, not if you've not read them, and obviously not if you read them and hated them, that would just be silly.
6 people found this helpful
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Chris Steele
3.0 out of 5 stars Size DOES matter
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 26, 2013
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It's a first class humorous story, and I will read the rest of the trilogy, but it is not a novel - At a guess it is maybe 5k words.
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